Looking for Racism?

An interesting thing happened to me today. I was making some small talk with a person I have known now for about 2 or 3 months. This person happens to be black. Our topic of conversation happened to be horse back riding and I let it be known that I was one of those lucky kids who grew up with horses. This person then asked where I was from and I let them know I was from a small rural/farming town, and even showed them where on a map I grew up. I also showed this person where my family was from, where my childhood church was established and a few other things that I like to talk about when talking about my childhood hometown(s).

This person then stops me and asks me, "How can you be from such a place and be so comfortable with people who are not like you? Most people from small towns in general are not accepting of others who are different from them." In a nutshell, this person was asking me, or making the statement, "Why are you not a racist like everyone else from small towns, which are primarily white in race?"

Now, this hit me in a number of different ways. First I thought, "Wow! what a racist and stereotypical thing to say when you know absolutely nothing about my town, my neighbors, and my family." The next was, that this person was amazed that someone like me would be working and attached to such a great liberal and forward thinking higher educational institution that we are both employed at. And finally it solidified in my mind that most of the educated open minded liberals are usually over educated, closed minded and mostly hypocriticals. It also convinced me that everyone is racist in some way or another, despite what they might think, say or do.

The comment, I am sure was not to insult me, but it was offensive to me both immediately and even more so after I thought about it for a while. I did not let that on, but I felt compelled to defend my hometown(s) to some extent and said, that if you came to visit, you might not ever meet a friendlier group of people. This person's response was, "I don't know how many times I have heard that..."

I left the conversation thinking and knowing that this person had made a racist comment to me, whether they knew it or not. It confirmed for me a personal belief that everyone of us, no matter who you are, have some level of racism within us. Some of us have more or less and some of us show it more or less. Everyone is a racist I think, but what matters is how we control it and deal with it. Some don't care if their racist tendencies show or not. I think most people do care and do try their hardest to hide, quell, or defeat any racism they have. Let's face it. Most people prefer their own kind just like in the animal world (and we are animals when you strip us down), but it is how we control our racism, attitudes, and emotions that separates us from the animals. And I also think that racism is fueled or quelled by some people's thin or thick skin over the matter.

I immediately forgave this person for their comment. It was not meant to insult me, simply a lapse of judgement, or an example of ignorance on what people from small towns are really like. Maybe it was too much in time in an insulated environment like a higher education institution that re-inforced this comment.

I don't think racism will ever be defeated. I think that it can only be contained and controled. There do need to be laws to prevent racism, the type of racism that truly hurts or hinders people. But racism, in many ways and levels does occur. And often it comes from those who cry about it the loudest.

No need to comment... just letting you in on my experience and my thoughts.

later!

Dancing with the Girls

Hello again!
I must write about one of the best experiences I have had in a long time. On Saturday of last week, I had a date with a really beautiful girl. This girl just happened to be my daughter and the event was her first Daddy- Daughter Dance. She had been looking forward to this for the longest time. I knew she was getting excited, because she had a new hat, new shirt and new jeans for this event and she did not wear them before the event, and for my daughter, that is a big thing. See, she loves new clothes and wants to wear them as soon as possible, but these clothes were being saved, for something big! The theme of the dance was country/western. We as a family are not much for country/western music or fashion, but we did our best at fitting the theme. With a pink and white cowboy hat, a pink blouse, boot cut jeans, and a demin jacket, my daughter was the picutre of country cute. (It is my right and priviledge to say that there was not a cuter girl at the dance)
We started out the evening by going to a local restaurant and having a nice sit down dinner. I bought for her a corsage for her jacket and it was made up of her favorite colors. Pink and purple. We had a nice dinner of Chisken Strips and sweet potoato fries and Hot Chocolate. (Hey, it was her special night!) Then we headed to the dance.
The dance was held in the basement of a local church. Not much in the way of decorations, but there was music, colored dancing lights, and snacks and that was all that was needed. After a slight bout of hesitation, my daughter and I hit the dance floor. (The chicken dance was what got her on the floor.) After that, it was no stopping allowed. We danced for two solid hours. It takes a good deal of strength and stamina to dance with someone who is two feet shorter than you, and you will find yourself holding them alot more than anything else, but it is worth it. My little girl is quite a dancer. We were actually dancing together! She was watching me and others and trying to do her best. Some of it was slow and some of it was fast, but it was good dancing. She even bragged to her mom that I was a good dancer! We had a blast and I think it really meant alot to her. All the girls present seemed to have a good time and it was during th slow dances that you coudl really see the affection that daughters have for their dads. I have nver had so many kisses in one night. And so many "I love yous!" I could never get enough of those...
For those of you who have daughters, if you have the chance, take her to a Daddy/Daughter dance. You will not regret it. And to those of you who say you can't or won't dance, suck it up and get on the dance floor. Real men dance, so be a man!! This is your little girl we are talking about. Who do you want her first dance to be with? You or some unknown boy? It better be you. I would do it again in an instant. It was just me and her, and I figure that this is the best way for her to learn how to be treated and what to expect from a date or a dance. Set the ground rules early and teach her to expect courtesy, respect, and kindness when she goes out with a boy. If you make a good model for her, then she will who knows what she will settle for.
Dance with your daughter. Dance with your wife. Just dance. Dancing is celebrating. Celebrate life and family and go dance. For those of you who think you can't dance, you are wrong. You just don't know it. You are missing out.

Later