An open letter to my daughter.

So today was your last “official” day of high school? Your mom and I are very proud of you and know that you have worked hard to get to the end. Maybe you weren’t the best “student” in the school, but I assure you that you were a stellar person. How well you study and how good your grades are don’t make a good person. Your heart, your conscience, and your honor make you who you are. And in those areas of coursework and study, you are an “A” student.

So now that the responsibility of high school is behind you, do you feel any different? Probably not, but I can assure you that things will be different for you from here on out. People will perceive you differently from now on. They will see you as an adult, even if you don’t feel like you are one. Be a good person, be responsible for your own actions, your words and your commitments. Far too many people today feel that there is no bad result from not being responsible for their actions. It is always someone else’s fault. Deadlines, promises, commitments, agreements and more are nothing more that hot air in a desert. Don’t be like them.

There will be no more high school drama to worry about, but there will be drama of a different sort. Drama that only adults (who act like children) can create. Fortunately, you have discovered that life is too short for drama, but sometimes it is not always possible to avoid it. When negative and dramatic people present themselves, hold them at arm’s length. Negativity and drama only breeds more negativity and drama and it will bring you down. Be willing to give advice and assistance them but do not support their negativity. Their drama and negativity will become your own. Don’t be like them.

No one owes you a thing. Get up and earn it. There is a failing in our society that has been the product of too many parents telling too many children that they are “unique” or “special” or something else that sets them far above and apart from others. They have been told that the world owes them something because they are special in some way. They were told that they didn’t deserve to lose, or they deserved a better grade, or rank, or something that has instilled an entire generation that feels it is entitled and the world owes them something. In reality, they are not and probably never were. Yes, your mother and I have told you that you were special. That is because you are. You are special to us. We love and adore you, but want only the best for you, but that does not mean that you are going to be given the world on a silver platter. If you want something, you are going to have to work for it. You are going to have to earn it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. There are way too many people in society that feel they are entitled. Don’t be like them.

MAKE life happen FOR you. Don’t LET life happen TO you. Make it your own. You only have one life. Make the most of it. Make it fun. You are given the same 24 hours that everyone else has. Make the most of them. Don’t waste it on things you don’t want to do or things that give you no reward or pleasure. I don’t mean that you should not go to work, not go to school, and not take out the trash and other stuff that makes a normal and productive person, but things that take your precious time away from you with no good result. Don’t waste your time. Look at each hour, each minute, as money. Spend it well. You have probably heard me say this more times than you can count, but “Sleep when you’re dead.” What I really mean by this is don’t be lazy. When you are asleep, nothing happens. It is time wasted. Being up, awake, active and involved is time well spent. Many people are awake but do nothing. Like being asleep. Some people don’t live, they just exist. Don’t be like them.

There are a myriad of other things that I could tell you but will only mention them in passing.

Stand for something or you will fall for anything, but don’t stand for everything because then nothing will have meaning.

It okay to be religious and have faith, to practice and to share and talk about it. Remember it is “freedom OF religion” not “freedom FROM religion”.

It is your right to not be offended by things. Not everything in this life will be offensive to you and that is OKAY. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are horrible person if you are not offended by something that offends them. Tell them that *they* offend you and to frak off.

Not everything is black and white, right or left, good and bad. It is more often than not somewhere in the middle and finding your comfort zone, your place in it is totally up to you.

Treat your body well. It is the only one you have and there may come a time when you have to depend on it to do things you didn’t think it could.

Be yourself. Have fun. Love, laugh and live. Be a geeky girl. Be a geeky woman. Make smart decisions but don’t always make the safest decision. It might just be more fun.

No matter what you do in life, make sure it is something you want to do. Succeed or fail, at least it will be your decision.

And finally, whatever happens, always know this; you can always come home again.