An open letter to my daughter.

So today was your last “official” day of high school? Your mom and I are very proud of you and know that you have worked hard to get to the end. Maybe you weren’t the best “student” in the school, but I assure you that you were a stellar person. How well you study and how good your grades are don’t make a good person. Your heart, your conscience, and your honor make you who you are. And in those areas of coursework and study, you are an “A” student.

So now that the responsibility of high school is behind you, do you feel any different? Probably not, but I can assure you that things will be different for you from here on out. People will perceive you differently from now on. They will see you as an adult, even if you don’t feel like you are one. Be a good person, be responsible for your own actions, your words and your commitments. Far too many people today feel that there is no bad result from not being responsible for their actions. It is always someone else’s fault. Deadlines, promises, commitments, agreements and more are nothing more that hot air in a desert. Don’t be like them.

There will be no more high school drama to worry about, but there will be drama of a different sort. Drama that only adults (who act like children) can create. Fortunately, you have discovered that life is too short for drama, but sometimes it is not always possible to avoid it. When negative and dramatic people present themselves, hold them at arm’s length. Negativity and drama only breeds more negativity and drama and it will bring you down. Be willing to give advice and assistance them but do not support their negativity. Their drama and negativity will become your own. Don’t be like them.

No one owes you a thing. Get up and earn it. There is a failing in our society that has been the product of too many parents telling too many children that they are “unique” or “special” or something else that sets them far above and apart from others. They have been told that the world owes them something because they are special in some way. They were told that they didn’t deserve to lose, or they deserved a better grade, or rank, or something that has instilled an entire generation that feels it is entitled and the world owes them something. In reality, they are not and probably never were. Yes, your mother and I have told you that you were special. That is because you are. You are special to us. We love and adore you, but want only the best for you, but that does not mean that you are going to be given the world on a silver platter. If you want something, you are going to have to work for it. You are going to have to earn it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. There are way too many people in society that feel they are entitled. Don’t be like them.

MAKE life happen FOR you. Don’t LET life happen TO you. Make it your own. You only have one life. Make the most of it. Make it fun. You are given the same 24 hours that everyone else has. Make the most of them. Don’t waste it on things you don’t want to do or things that give you no reward or pleasure. I don’t mean that you should not go to work, not go to school, and not take out the trash and other stuff that makes a normal and productive person, but things that take your precious time away from you with no good result. Don’t waste your time. Look at each hour, each minute, as money. Spend it well. You have probably heard me say this more times than you can count, but “Sleep when you’re dead.” What I really mean by this is don’t be lazy. When you are asleep, nothing happens. It is time wasted. Being up, awake, active and involved is time well spent. Many people are awake but do nothing. Like being asleep. Some people don’t live, they just exist. Don’t be like them.

There are a myriad of other things that I could tell you but will only mention them in passing.

Stand for something or you will fall for anything, but don’t stand for everything because then nothing will have meaning.

It okay to be religious and have faith, to practice and to share and talk about it. Remember it is “freedom OF religion” not “freedom FROM religion”.

It is your right to not be offended by things. Not everything in this life will be offensive to you and that is OKAY. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are horrible person if you are not offended by something that offends them. Tell them that *they* offend you and to frak off.

Not everything is black and white, right or left, good and bad. It is more often than not somewhere in the middle and finding your comfort zone, your place in it is totally up to you.

Treat your body well. It is the only one you have and there may come a time when you have to depend on it to do things you didn’t think it could.

Be yourself. Have fun. Love, laugh and live. Be a geeky girl. Be a geeky woman. Make smart decisions but don’t always make the safest decision. It might just be more fun.

No matter what you do in life, make sure it is something you want to do. Succeed or fail, at least it will be your decision.

And finally, whatever happens, always know this; you can always come home again.

JOY

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 16

Joy.

As a gamer geek dad, it gives me joy that my daughter was really happy when this little custom made Dungeons & Dragons character miniature came in. It is a representation of her character in the game. She helped design it and so it will mean more to her than some generic mini that most people purchase for the game.

I can chalk that up as a win in the "doing it right" column.

Now to paint it!

SHELTER

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 15

Shelter.

I know this might sound mean, but I would rather see that a pet have a shelter before a human.

Pets are at the mercy of their owners and in general humans. Humans know better.

COVENANT

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 14

Covenant

You might think this word would lead me to talk about a covenant with God, work, county, marriage or something like that. Well, yes, but to be honest, I am went into this challenge to use the words for my own purposes and maybe not the way the creators of the challenge intended. And this is one of those times.

The photo that you see of those ugly buggers is one of the "Covenant" Elite warriors from the game "HALO." When HALO first came out, I would have to say, it was the driving force behind the decision to purchase an XBOX game console. Without it, you could not play this amazing game. So we did and HALO was the first game we bought.

We immediately set to playing it and soon the "Covenant" were our fiercest enemies and very deadly to meet in game.

But what really happened is that I got to play the game cooperatively with my kids and we played the game together for hours on end and enjoyed every minute doing it!

We did this for all the iterations of the HALO game.... until HALO 5.

Some idiot decided to take the co-operative game play out of the newest story-line of the game. What the frak were they thinking? Hundreds of thousands of players have played this game this way for years and now they decide to take it away. Pretty much ruined the game for my kids and I. So much so that I have not even tried to play it and I don't think my kids have bothered much either. Ruined it for us because that is how we have always played this game together. As a team.

So, the "Covenant" will have to wait before I meet them again on the battlefield. Cause that ain't how I play my HALO game. Besides, I am having too much fun playing the MAD MAX game that has its own form of game play "covenant" and it is about keeping promises in the game to make the world a better place.

VISION

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 13

Vision

To have "vision", and I don't mean the kind that lets you read books or watch TV, is to be able to see into the future, predict the next big thing or calculate the best way to act, prepare, or plan for the future. But more often I think we forget to have that vision to look back at our lives, our experiences, and see what it has taught us. Hindsight is not 20/20 but it can be if you time the time to look at it with clear vision and understand its lessons. Too often we have our eyes on the prize at the end of the race and when we come up short, maybe it is because we didn't bother to look behind ourselves and see where our path went astray.

CELEBRATE

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 12

Celebrate

Today I am celebrating three things!

First, I took my mom to church today and so I celebrate the fact that the church of my childhood is back after a devastating fire that destroyed everything. Nothing survived from the church that was built in 1875. But now, the church is rebuilt, and services are back in a new building. Things don't look the same. Things don't sound the same. Things don't even smell the same in the new building. Everything is new. Nothing is familiar. It's all sparkly brand new! And to add to that, the pastor of the last 10 years or so has left to take another call in another church so they are looking for a new pastor. Everything is a new start for this old church. But all will be well. They are going through growing pains that they never expected to have to experience, but they will make it through. It is a pleasure to attend with my mom and see the same faces that I remember from my childhood. And I celebrate that they are moving forward.

Secondly, I celebrate this wonderful plate full of comfort. My mom makes this concoction that my family calls "tuna fish and peas." To some it might look like what some in the military call "SOS" or "S#@& On a Shingle" but is anything like that. It is one of my favorite comfort food and my mom is the only one that makes it and for me it is thing to celebrate because my mom made it for me today for lunch!

And third, I celebrate my mom. I love my mom. She is 88 years old and suffers from the aches and pains that you might expect an 88 year old would suffer from. But despite this, she is a very healthy person and all of those pains go away when she can be with her family and friends. I can kind of understand how she feels. I too feel "more alive" and "happier" when my kids are around and I try to keep that in mind when she calls and says she is lonely or not feeling well. So I celebrate that we were able to spend some quality time together today.

LOVE

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 10
Love

I LOVE that this happened on my Facebook page. I love that my friends get me. I love that I can be genuine and be a geek with all of them and more. Live Long and Prosper, my friends!

(ya know, I think you could say "Live, Love, and Prosper", and it would be just as meaningful.)

REFUGE

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 9
Refuge

Hopefully we all have, need a place where we can feel safe. A place where we can be comfortable and at ease. For some this is a location, a home, a room, or a vacation spot. For me, I am lucky to be able to take refuge in many places, and not all of them are physical locations. My wife and my family are my most reliable and constant refuge. I have refuge in my own home, and oddly I feel I have refuge in my car. Ofte, however I find my refuge in a room full of people, or maybe just one other person, and playing a game. That might sound silly, but in today's age of technological disconnectedness, sitting down at a game table and playing a game with other players across the game board from you, is the equivalent of sitting around the campfire and telling stories. Whether it is a simple game of cards, a role-playing game, or a in-depth strategy game, I really revel in playing games with family and friends. We can play the game and we can socialize with each other all while competing within the game. It is the act of gaming that allows me to let go of the responsibilities of work and life. Remember when we were kids and our job was to play? We have forgotten how to play as we become adults and I take refuge in the "play" that gaming allows. Gaming is one of my favorite places of refuge.

Mighty

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 8
Mighty

I have to admit, I really don't have any good words to thoughts for the word today. I thought long and hard about it but nothing was coming to me. So instead I decided to let some others say some things about the word "Mighty."

He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt

From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.
Aeschylus

Up, you mighty race, accomplish what you will.
Marcus Garvey

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.
Olin Miller

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain

Mighty cultures never - are almost never conquered. They crumble from within. And frankly, I think that a lot of Americans are acting like spoiled brats because everything isn't working out perfectly every time.
Frank Miller

GO

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 7

Go

People say I am always on the go. And maybe that is true. It is just that I have so much that I want to do and I know there are only so many hours in the day, days in the year, years in my life.

When my alarm goes off in the morning, I think of it as a starters pistol at the beginning of a race. It is the beginning of my race to do as much in the waking hours as I can. I am not racing against the clock, because I know who will win in the end. Rather, I am racing with the clock to put as much into each hour as I can.

So maybe I am always on the go. It is not in my nature to be idle. We all have the same number of hours in a day. I just chose to be on the go and fill those hours with as much activity and enjoyment as I can.

Why not? There is no time like the present. And I always hear people say, "Where did the time go?" For me I want to be able to answer that question with; "Doing exactly want I wanted to do."

SETTLE

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 6

Settle

These are the headstones of the first "Geiken's" of my direct line of ancestry to settle in the USA. I don't know much about them other than they were "arbeiters" (workers) according to records. I don't know why they came to settle in America instead of staying in Germany. I know they came with their entire family in tow and made a life for themselves here in Illinois and their descendants still live in the same area that they settled in. This summer I get to travel to their homeland and see where they came from. I realize that it will be a far different land from whence they came but I can't help but think it will put me in touch just a little more about why they decided to leave ad settle in a new land. I don't know if I could have done what they did. I don't know the reasons behind their leaving home, but I am glad they did. Without their picking up roots and settling in a new land, I would not be where I am today or be part of the big, wonderful family that I belong to!

CELEBRATE!!

CELEBRATE
Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 5

Today is Valentine's Day and for many it is a time of flowers, chocolate, candy, wine and expressions of love. And people try way to hard. My wife and I used to be part of that crowd. We would try so hard to be a part of the made up holiday of love. And usually we would try so hard that our expectations fell far short of reality and in the end we would end up getting angry or frustrated. So we stopped all of that nonsense and just treated it like any other stupid Hallmark Holiday and simply acknowledged it with a small gesture and acknowledgement of our love to each other. So we don't really celebrate it anymore.

But we do celebrate Feb 14th for another reason!!! It is Gunnar's 10th Birthday!!! Gunnar was born on Valentine's day and so we gave him the middle name of Valentin and he has been our family sweetheart ever since! I have had a lot of dogs in my life and every one of them has been a great dog, but Gunnar has been the very best of all of my dogs! Every boy should be allowed to have the "best dog ever" and Gunnar is that for me. He is smart, loyal, fun, loving, protective, strong, and handsome. He is always happy to see me when I come home, regardless of whether I have been gone for 7 days or 7 minutes. He wants nothing more than to go where I go and do what I do. When we first got him, I was able to bring him to work everyday for almost a year and develop a very close relationship with him. We worked hard on his training and socialization. He loves people and wants to say "Hi!" to everyone but being a 100lbs German Shepard can be kind of intimidating to those that don't know him very well. He can be a bit overwhelming at times, especially when a baby comes to the house. He loves babies and realizes that we humans are not capable of caring for this small creature as well as him so he is always trying to worm his way into checking on the babies that visit.

He is a very active 10 year old dog. Each morning I make him run and play for at least 15-20 minutes and the same each evening. He has gone on vacations with us and those have been some of the best vacations ever. He loves to go camping. He recently acquired a taste riding about town in the golf cart we got and he rides around like a king in a chariot!

Gunnar is more than just my dog. Gunnar is my buddy. Gunnar is my best friend.

INJUSTICE

INJUSTICE
Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 4

Justice is supposed to be blind. Objective and impartial. Not taking sides or letting one's own opinions or beliefs get into the way when deciding and delivering justice.

But as a political science instructor once said to my class, "If humans were angels, we would not need laws. However, we aren't and we do."

There are all kinds of injustice in the world and most of them are beyond my skill to figure out or talk about.

What I want to talk about is something I have always had an issue with.

The U.S. Supreme Court. And as fate would have it, one of the Supreme Court justices just died and so now begins the fight to find an intelligent, objective, impartial judge to sit on the bench for the rest of his or her life. And who gets to pick that person? The people of the U.S.? Nope. The sitting president.

Why does one person get to pick another person to have so much sway over the law of the land for more years than most people ever spend at their own career or job? Sure the nominee must be vetted by congress and committees and such, but in the end, the person is picked by the president, who cannot help but add personal beliefs and opinions into the choice.

How is that impartial? I have already heard from those people who lean left that they are glad that Scalia is dead so that Obama can pick a more liberal, left wing judge to take his place. How is that justice? How is that impartial? All they want is to load the Supreme Court with justices who think their way and not impartially. So that their way of thinking will hold sway over the interpretation of the laws of the land. Isn't that the description of injustice? (Yes, the same thing can be said of right thinking people. Again. It is the same thing.)

Why is something like this big of decision allowed to be left to the choice of one person? Why are they not elected just like every other lawmaker/politician?

Maybe I don't understand it all well enough but is sure seems like an injustice to me.

LOOK

LOOK: Lenten Photo Challenge - Day 3
If you ever want to see what true religion looks like, look into the eyes of your dog.
If you ever want to know what true worship looks like, look into the eyes of your dog.
If you ever want to know what true love looks like, look into the eyes of your dog.

VOICE

VOICE
Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 2

I wish I could sing. I mean, I can sing. Anyone can sing. But I wish I had a good singing voice. Like my daughter Cora. I love to hear her sing. When she sings, you can tell that she just loves doing it, despite that she might be nervous performing in front of an audience. Both my wife and I are not sure where the singing ability came from genetically but we are sure glad she has that talented voice. (If I were to guess, I would say she gets if from both of her grandmothers as they seem to have very good singing voices) When a song that I enjoy is playing, I often wonder what it would be like to hear my daughter's voice singing it instead of the original artist. At many high school singing competitions I have been rewarded with hearing her sing some popular songs and been amazed at how great the songs sound with her voice instead! The most amazing was when she sang "I See Fire" from "The Hobbit" movie by Peter Jackson. Sung originally by Ed Sheeran, Cora made the song her own (vocally) and killed it! It was amazing. I hope that she continues to sing throughout her entire life because I know it brings her joy. And what dad doesn't want their daughter to enjoy something she is so good at? So, Cora, if you are reading this... keep finding your voice and sing!

GATHER

GATHER

Lenten Photo Challenge: Day 1

During the Spring, Summer and Fall, this sign hangs outside near our fire pit. It is the welcome sign for those family and friends that gather around our humble little fire pit for what my wife and I like to call our "Fire and Wine" gatherings. At our "Fire and Wine" nights we talk about everything. We share stories. We catch up. We complain and compliment, procrastinate and plan, lament and laugh. And usually we do it under the guise of sharing a glass of wine, but in reality, we are there just to gather together and share in each others company. Of all the things that our "Fire and Wine" nights do, it is the gathering of my family and friends and letting us connect and share more closely with each other that I enjoy the most. And a glass of wine or two doesn't hurt either!