Motorcycle manners...

What you see before you is my new Motorcycle, a 2003 Honda VTX 1800R. I have had it since June28th, but have not written much about it as on the day I picked it up, one of my dogs suffered either a heat stroke or a brain stroke and the worry kind of took the thrill out of the purchase. And then the 4th of July weekend comes around and that is a busy time for me, so no attempt to hit the Blog was made. And then, I head out to Boston for 10 days. And finally, when I get back, my other dog suffers a major stroke and passes away, leaving me without much concern for writing about something that I have lusted after for so long. But now things are back to normal, so to speak and I must tell you about my Bike.
A Honda VTX 1800 is the largest production V-Twin motorcyle on the streets today, bigger than anything else anyone has to offer. (soon there is to be a Kawasaki 2000) It can (and has) do 70 mph at 3rd gear with 2 more gears to go. It has trememdous power but is a dream to ride. (Although my wife's rear end my argue that point.) But I am not here to talk about the bike. You can see how beautiful she is from the photo. What I want to talk about is the etiquette or manners that bikers must have when riding on the road. Specifically, the greeting or handwave given to other bikers you meet on the road.

As long as I have ridden a motorcycle on the road, I have made a point to wave at other motorcycle riders I meet. However, in these years I have noticed something that makes me curious. Why is it that any time I pass a rider on a Harley Davidson, I rarely get a wave, or even a nod of acknowledgement? If I pass another biker, on something other than a Harley, almost 95% of the time I will get the low hand wave ( the wave of the clutch hand removed from the handle and extended out straight, parallel to the ground), or if he or she is a more friendly, the high hand wave (the wave of the clutch hand, raised up from the handle into the air). If I am riding and wearing a helmet, and the other person is wearing a helmet, and normally not on a Harley, I get a wave almost 100% of the time.

Now, if I pass a Harley rider along the road and I am wearing a helmet, even if I give him or her a wave, I get no wave back. This almost always happens. If I am not wearing a helmet, I might get a wave one out of ten times. Why is this? Maybe when I do get a wave, my guess is that they probably think I am on a Harley and then deserve the brotherly wave. (Sometimes, I get a small finger wave, which I suspect is becasue they can't really tell if I am on a Harley or not.) I know that if it is obvious that I am a "rice burner" I will not get the wave. Why? Are we not all part of the two wheeled brotherhood? We all have motorcycles for pretty much the same reason. Is it part of the Harley handbook that you be a snob and effect the airs of someone who is a bad ass? I know that most Harley riders are really good guys, so why then do they act so unfriendly on the road?

I probably will never really know. It is probably a secret. And in reality it is no big thing, but wouldn't the road be alot nicer if people waved at each other alot more? I for one will wave at every biker I meet. And now, with the VTX, it is much harder to tell from a distance, what her manufacturer is. I bet I get alot more Harley riders waving at me...

Later!

Losing my friend....

Just recently I lost a very good friend and companion. My dog, Han Gunther Geiken, a good old dog of 15-16 years was put down on a Saturday evening after having suffered a stroke that he would never recover from. His passing struck me far harder than I expected, especially after seeing how much of part of my family he had really become by the way my children greived for him. We had a nice funeral for him and he is probably chasing rabbits now, somewhere in a grassy field where there are chicken bones convienent for snacking upon.

Hans came into my life (and my wife's) when we were somewhat pressured by good friends of ours who decided we needed a dog to go along with the one they had. We had had a dog before, but our land lord made us get rid of her and another one that died of Parvo due to the neglect of careless neighbors. I think we were reluctant to get another one, as we had not had good luck up until then, getting and keeping a dog.

Regardless, we went to the Humane Society pound and began to look. I was adamant that I would not pick a dog as I did not think we needed one at that time and I was convinced that the only good dog was a farm dog. Boy was I wrong. We looked at many dogs but one dog really stood out to me. This beautiful blonde dog with black lips and a black shepard saddle. His name was Dingo. He was skiny thing and very standoffish, but man was he handsome. I think on some deep level I connected with him because before I was leaving the pound I had signed papers that I would take him home with me.

Hans was an abused dog as a puppy. He was very cautious around men, especially ones with deep voices. It took a long time for him to forget his bad past and understand that he would be cared for and loved. He was always kind of a nervous, or anxious dog, as travelling bothered him and being left alone was not to his liking. He did love to go on walks and loved to run! He could, and did, on many occasions, out race a rabbit to catch and kill it in the field. He was not much of a hunting dog though, as he was gun shy. But more than anything, he was a lover. He loved people and he loved kids. Or better stated, he loved babies. Of any kind or any species. He adopted a litter of kittens to the point that the mother could barely get to them. Any babies that he met he insisted that he lick them from head to toe to promote hair growth to protect them from the cold and to cover their scent from predators. One of the first things we did with our kids was to strip them naked and let him lick them while they squiggled around on the floor. He would lick them till they turned red if we let them. He would sit for hours lying next to them just sniffing them and getting to know them and vice versa.

Has became a real member of our family. He and I would go round and round about a number of things, and I think that it was a result of the struggle to gain the Alpha Male status in the family, or in his eyes, the Pack. I don't know if I ever really managed to gain that status over him, but for the most part, he was a willing member of the family.

His passing was the first real death my kids have had to deal with. They were there as he had his stroke, they were there as he slipped into a catatonic state and it was the kids the were the first to verbally say that we need to put him out of his misery. I think that it is a day that they will remember for a very long time. Had circumstances been different, I would have tried to hide their eyes from the tragedy that was unfolding for them. But in many ways, I think that this was a growing experience for them. It made the idea of death very real. I also spoke more about death with my kids than ever before. The funeral helped in many ways to ease their pain, much like the shot that eased Hans'.

I will not forget the pain that Hans went through in his final hours. I know that he wanted me near. He would only calm down when I was there. Maybe he was looking for the Alpha Male to do his part and end his time and suffering. I hope he understood the words I said to him, or at least felt and knew the love I had for him. He waited for his Pack to come home before leaving this world. That is the sign of a good dog. Making sure everything and everyone is safe and well. He found that to be true and then I believe, he succumbed to the old age that found him so quickly in these last few months.

Our whole family will miss him. Konnor, his fellow dog buddy is lost with out him. Pets are more than just pets. I will not take my other pets for granted any longer. I lost a very good friend and one of my best buddies. I will miss him for a very long time.

"To accept what's to come...

is knowing that you will have to say goodbye." - Jonny Kennedy. 2003

Last night I watched a most amazing television show. It was called "The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off." It is the story of the last four months of life for a 36 year old Englishman from Anwick who suffered from a malady that caused his skin to blister and fall off after even the slightest of touches. It is called EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa). (see www.debra.org.uk) He was born with the disease and lived through 36 years of agonizing pain, only to be told that it was a form of cancer in his chest that would eventually kill him. In these last four months he wanted to accomplish certain things that would better others with his disease and experience things that he had not had a chance to experience yet. But the film was not about his affliction, but more about his planning his own passing, the lessons he had learned in life, the people he touched, and his dealing with his own demise.

While watching it, I found myself in envy of this "degrading" person who suffered everyday, lived with pain his entire life, was never able to physically grow up, could not experience life as a normal person, but yet had more faith, composure, empathy, and wisdom than someone twice his age. His attitude toward life, and more importantly, death was amazing. To be as comfortable with one's own passing as Johnny Kennedy was with his has to be the result of a profound faith in God and the afterlife, a reassurance that you have lived your life as well as you could, and understanding that this current life is only part of a longer journey. He said something interesting in the program. "It is a truly selfish person that thinks that this life is all there is. That after you live there is nothing else." He then went on to say that life is just long big lesson and that it is essentially your "training ground" for what is to come. There has to be more to all this suffering and pain and all these lessons we learn as we pass through life. It must all be for some reason.

During the program he also dealt with planning his own funeral. It was his opinion that death, like living, is all part of the same cycle and it is something that is part of life, and if we just organized it like we organize and plan everything else, it will all be taken care of and done right the first time with no stress and confusion caused to those remaining. It makes sense and is something I have always thought about in a small way. I have even, in the wee hours of the morning or at quiet times such as during deer hunting, I think of what my funeral is going to be like. It changes each time I think about it, but I have a pretty good idea of what I would like. I am not about to detail it here and now, but maybe sometime in the future I will right it down and leave it somewhere for family and friends to follow. I do know there will be music, celebration and fire involved. This is all I will say for now. What I am saying is that I learned alot from watching this one hour program, and I think others would learn too. Death is not something that can be avoided, and isn't necessarily an event to look forward to, but at least it is something that should be considered and comtemplated at lenght at some point in your life.

As I think more on this little documentary of Jonny Kennedy's last four months on Earth, I am sure I will understand more about my envious feelings and may or may not learn more about my feeling on death and afterlife, but one thing I am sure of is that I am coming to a point in time where saying goodbye is going to be something that is frequently unavoidable. I am not trying to be morbid or anything like that. I plan on being around a very long time and an expecting everyone else I know to do the same, but I do know that I need to be ready and willing to say goodbye, because in the end, it is only a temporary separation. And if I cannot say "goodbye", then how will I be able to say "hello" again?

later.... not goodbye.

Alive while driving...

I have been without a motorcycle now for a little more than a year now and I recently was able to ride my friends bike for more than around town. Having not been on one for this long, and then getting back on one, I think I have rediscovered the reason I like riding a motorcycle. Simply, I am actually taking an active part in the driving of this machine. I don't have a radio to distract me. You can't really talk to another person. You certainly cannot talk on a cell phone!! You are far more aware of the road and the other vehicles around you. You feel the process of driving, and you actually have to use your body to make the bake respond the way it is supposed to. My guess is that this is alot of what racing drivers feel everytime they get behind the wheel. My concetration level goes way up, and I actually enjoy the ride.

Sometimes, it can be a rough ride and not all that pleasant but those times are usually few and far between. And sure, sometimes you get wet or cold, but that is part of it. It is kind of like camping. You have to learn to deal with it, otherwise you might as well not go.

Driving a car has very little to do with the driver anymore. If it did, why would there be GPS systems, sound systems that rival home studios, and need I mention, video systems? My parents car even beeps when they get to close to something! No need to be a good driver, just listen to the car and it will tell you what to do. You don't even need to use the gas hardly! Yeah, it is a comfortable ride, but is it driving?

I think that is why motorcycle owners like riding their machines. It lets them take control. It lets them feel alive while driving. It can be more dangerous, but usually, accidents involving motorcycles are usually the fault of someone driving a car, and I bet those drivers are distracted by something in the car, or they have become so bored with driving, they don't notice the other people, most particularly motorcycles, on the road with them. (START SEEING MOTORCYCLES!!)

I hope to have a motorcycle of my own again soon. I hope to feel like I am really driving a vehicle again soon. I love my truck, but a bike is far more exciting to drive.

Later!

A HALO Movie!!! Way Cool!

In a recent post on the Yahoo site, http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20050610/en_movies_eo/16734 it was announced that there is the potential for a Movie starring every XBOX gamers favorite Marine, Master Cheif Spartan 117, of HALO fame! This would rock! It of course needs to be done correctly for it to do any kind of justice to the best video game of all time! (so far!) It will have to have a kick butt actor, or truly state of the art CGI rendering for the lead character, a story line that develops the Master Cheif from his beginnings to the end of the game, as we know it, and powerful soundtrack, and lots and lots of action. Think the last Star Wars movie only cranked up to eleven! Hopefully the deal will work out. There are already a number of HALO movie groups out there sending all kinds of stuff to the powers that be. Hopefully they will listen like Peter Jackson listened for the Lord of the Rings movies. When directors make movies to please fans and not simply themselves, then everyone wins! It almost needs some like Ang Lee, Jackson, Ridley Scott or Jerry Bruckheimer behind this movie to give it its full potential! Hopefully the 2007 relase date stated will come true! Gamers really do run the entertainment industry!

I have the same feeling about this as I did when I heard that the Lord of the Rings movies were a possibility

Later!

Soundtrack Updated.

Go check out the soundtrack list... It is getting bigger!

Stream of Concienceness

Back in my high school education, for an English assignment, we had to do a writing project using stream of concience as our only tool. It was cool. Reading some of my friends, and my own stuff was pretty weird... the things was to just write whatever came to your mind. At times it can be quite revealing! That being said, here goes another attempt at Stream Of Concienceness writing!

Why the hell am I doing this. Like I have nothing else to do with my time! Dang, my back hurts. At Karate last night I got to be the test dummy and got twisted and banged around alot, but you know what, I probably learned more than the rest of them. Karate is cool. I don't know how long Julian and I will be in it, but I would like to see both of us advance at least to the brown belt level. It is a good way to build self confidence, assurance of safety, and keep in shape. Speaking of shapes, I have noticed something lately. Crop tops and beer bellies. Those hip hugger jeans, the ones that ride dangerously low on the hips and the mid-rif exposing shirts that alot of the ladies are wearing, they are great! I am all for them. Someone deserved to get rich for creating them. However, I see alot of girls wearing them around campus and town who should not be. They are wearing them and exposing not a nice flat tummy and slender hips but a spare tire and a beer belly that would rival many guys. Just because you see it at a store and can afford to buy it, does not mean you can wear it! Come on! If you want to wear the stuff, then at least look fit enough to wear it! I don't think that flabby male stomachs and belly rolls sticking out of shirts is appealing to many women, and I can safely say the same can be said the about mens opinions of women. It ain't sexy! Get in shape! A flat tummy is sexy. Male or female. I would not like to be out of shape and over weight. I love scaring squirrels and small dogs. They always seem like they are a few minutes away from a full blown heart attack. I know that sounds mean, but eh, who cares. One of my volunteers told me earlier today that she and her husband are splitting up. What is the deal with that? Is it our society, our values, or just that splitting up is so easy anymore and there is no real stigma attached to it anymore. I am glad that my parents never split. I don't think anyone in my family has ever split up. I cannot be totally sure, but it seems like that is a correct statement. No one in my family has ever had.. nope, not true. My cousin Mark split from his first wife. And my neice Shannon.., although a marriage that lasted less than a year and begun when you were 16 was not likely to survive. Most of us hoped for the best but it did not last. She is much better off now anyway so maybe it was a good thing. Another good thing is gaming. I will be gaming tonight. Looking forward to it. I kind of like being a gamer geek. Nothing to be embarassed about. There are more of us than most people realize! Just don't wear it on your sleeve or make it the only thing you do or talk about and people will not look at you funny. It is kind of like religion. Don't push it where it is not wanted and usually it will be okay. Not that I think religion is something that people can do without. I think everyone has some kind of religion they hold close. They may not think they do, but it is there. I wonder if my daughter is practicing riding her bike. I hope she can do it all herself soon. I am pretty hard on her getting her to learn, but she is doing it. I would like to see her take off on her own! We can then go bike riding! It will probably cost me money. I need more money. I need, no I want a new motorcycle. I don't need one. I want one. You have to have goals! That is mine. Another goal I have is to reach a physical goal by my 40th birthday. I want to be able to bench press 230 lbs or more by October. Right now I can 190lbs about 6 times. It is a goal so that it keeps me going back to the gym to stay in shape. Staying in shape after 40 is alot harder if you are not in shape by the time you get there. So I am starting now. Fortunately, I have stayed in shape most of my life... thank my dad for those genes. Maybe I will buy hip hugger jeans and a crop top. Never mind. I would like to go camping. Camping where there were no cub scouts or planned activities. Be it with just family or with friends, I would like to go camping. I would like to go camping with just my son sometime. I think it would be cool. Someplace out of the way. I need to start making plans for vacation and for my birthday. man I have a bunch of stuff to get done this summer. Drives me crazy all the stuff I have planned. I need to say no more often. I need to remember my resolution! Say no! No! No more writing. I'm Done.


Well, that was useless.

Evolution and the big "O"

I was listening to the audio version of the New York Times Science Section and apparently evolution scientist can find no evolutionary reason or purpose for the female orgasm. Yes, that is right. The female orgasm, according to evoltionist, has no reason to exist, but yet, it has been proven to exist! Have they, in a inadvertant way, given more proof to the presence of God in the creation of all things, or as they would call it, Intelligent Design? If there is no reason for the female orgasm to exist, then why do men all over the world, work so hard at trying to make women all over the world reach an orgasm? Could it be that it is simply proof that God loves us and wants us to have fun?!?! In my world, God is a very compassionate and careing Intelligent Designer with a great sense of humor, and this seems rights up his alley. If there was no reason for the female orgasm, then I am sure the human race would have died out eons ago, because if sex was only fun for guys involved, then women would have shut down the men a long time ago and hence, no sex, no babies, no expanding of the human race.

And if the female orgasm was not part of the master plan, then why is it (male or female) often compared to seeing God? Or why do so many of us cry out for God while having one? Hmm? Ever wonder?

Remember, Evolution is simply a theory. Nothing about evolution has ever been declared a fact. Orgasms, on the other hand, are definately a fact.

Later!

Soundtrack for my 40th Birthday Party.

Below is a list of songs I have started to compile to be played at my 40th Birthday Party. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to put them in the comments. I am not saying that I will use them, but you never know. I will update this post periodically.

Songs for my 40th birthday party.
No Country or Rap Music Allowed!

Trip Like I Do : Crystal Method
Clubbed to Death : The Matrix Soundtrack
Don’t Change : INXS
The Stand : The Alarm
68 Guns : The Alarm
Mexican Moon : Concrete Blonde
Tenderness : General Public
Revenge : Ministry
Don’t Go Back to Rockville : REM

Updated and added to on the 23rd of May

Games People Play : Alan Parsons Project
The Story in your Eyes : The Moody Blues
Sooner or Later : The Grass Roots
Stepping Stone : The Monkees
Whisper to a Scream : Icicle Works
Castles in the Sky : Ian Van Dahl
Bikini Girls with Machine Guns : Cramps
Eaten by the Monster of Love : Sparks
More Than This : Roxy Music
Sex, I’m a… : Berlin
Always Saturday : Guadalcanal Diary

Updated 6-7-05

You Get What You Give : The New Radicals

Small Town : John Mellencamp
Wolves of Worcestershire : The Dancing Did

Updated 6-10-05

The Way : Divine Inspriation (extended mix)
In Your Life : LaBouche
Spirits in the Material World : Police
In Need A Lover : John (Cougar) Mellencamp
Head Like a Hole : Nine Inch Nails
Moon over Bourbon Street : Sting

Embracing the 40th year of life....

Hello again! I mentioned earlier that I was turning 40 this year and had for the most part not even remembered that this milestone event was coming up! Well, boy has that changed! Not only am I looking forward to my 40th year on this little speck of dust called Earth, but I am embracing the whole idea of having and celebrating turning 40 in a big way! Many people like to hide that they are getting older when birthdays come around but not me! Yeah, we all got to get older, but that doesn't mean we have to act older, look older, or live like we are old.

Birthdays have alway been special for me and I think everyone needs to have their birthday celebrated. Whether it is something as simple as taking the day off of work or having a big party, it is your day and dang it, you better acknowledge it because no one is gonna do it for you. And if you think having a celebration, be it big or small, for your birthday is not your think, then I feel sorry for you. There are hundreds of days out there celebrating all kinds of things and people, but there is only one day that is set aside for you alone, and you better take advantage of it. No one will fault you for it. I think I get this from my mother, as she is a big one for celebrating special days and makes the most of them.

So I have decided that I am going to take charge of my 40th birthday party, and with the help of family and friends, throw and big celebration. It will not be simply a celebration of me turning 40 years old, but rather a party I am throwing to celebrate the family and friends I have had over these 40 years, a celebration of the music that has been the soundtrack to my life, and a celebration simply for sake of celebrating. Life is too short to not have fun once in a while, and being alive for me is about the people that make my life fun to live. So this party will be for my birthday of course, but it will also be a party that allows me to say thanks for being a part of my life for the last 40 years!

So to that end, I will find suitable accomodations for this party, plan for food and drink, and create the "soundtrack" music for the evening. Music will be a big part of the evening. I want to hear the music that I like and music that meant or means something to me. I don't necessarily want to hear what other people want to hear, because after all it is my party. There will be no country music, unless it is Johnny Cash or bluegrass, and there will be no rap or hip-hop, because we all know you cannot spell CRAP without RAP!!! So, anyone who reads this missive, first off, considered yourself invited, and secondly, feel free to make suggestions! Music from the 80's is a good place to start. From Top 40 to alternative, from classic WHO to Techno Dance, I plan on having a good selection of alot of stuff. I am also planning on setting up on this blog a list of the music I would like to here. Suggestions can be made there.

I think it will be a good time. At least I hope it is. It is my birthday and I deserve it and for the people I invite, they deserve it too.

Later!

The Maltese Cross. What's the Deal?

As of late, a very old, and very honored symbol has been usurped once again by a group of people who have forgotten the history of its symbolism. I speak specifically of the Cross Formee, Cross Pattee, the Iron Cross, or in some circles, the Teutonic Cross. Many uninformed call this cross the Maltese Cross, and it is currently one of the hottest symbols of the fashion world, right next to the Nike "Swoosh" or the Izod Alligator! (bet you forgot that one!) The Orange County Choppers are using it as their symbol, hate groups sometimes use it as their symbol, and fashion designers use it whenever they can. (Why? Because it is neatest and strongest looking of all Cross symbols!)

Being a lover of history, especially Western European history, and having a special affection for the Cross Formee, I am going to educate anyone who is interested, in the history of said symbol.

The cross design is first and foremost, the symbol adopted by Christians to remind them of Christ's death on a crucifixtion cross, and an empty cross symbolizes his ressurection. The simplest of cross designs is the Greek Cross. Simply two broad lines crossed at the center. During the first Crusade, the Hospitaller's used this symbol as their own but adjusted it to make the crossing lines angle ever so slightly wider, or flared out toward the ends. This is the beginning of the development of the Cross Formee. The Teutonic knights, not to be outdone, or confused with the Hospitallers, used the same design but instead used the Greek Cross and made the ends flare drastically at the ends. Now is seems only a step away from what we see today as the "Maltese Cross", bringing these two symbols together and getting the current version of the Formee/Pattee cross. However, the true Maltese cross has a very strict definition. "A cross made from four straight lined pointed arrowheads, meeting at their points, with the ends of the arms consisting of indented 'V's." Simply, the ends are not flat. To see one, simply look at the cross on any fire truck in the USA and you will see what I mean.

The Cross Formee, Pattee, or Iron cross you see now adays, is much different and indeed not the Maltese cross. It's finished form was very popular in the Middle Ages, but was probably most identifiable from its use in Germany. It was in March 1813, during the War of Liberation against Napolean, that King Fredrich Wilhelm III issued what is called the Prussian Iron Cross. It was awarded to anyone, of any nation, of any level of society, for acts of heroism, bravery, or leadership skill. It was again used and issued in 1870 for the Franco-Prussion War and for World War I

However, it was in 1939, (and here we get into it's first usurpation, and connotations of being "sinister") that Hitler issued the Iron Cross for bravery and valor, but this time with a Swastika imprinted on it's front. (Oddly enough, the Swastika, or Fylfot Cross has under gone the same transformation as the Formee/Pattee cross, but it never recovered it's image)

The Iron Cross was outlawed in 1945, but re-introduced in 1957 by Germany and still used today as the symbol of it's army, much like the white star on US army vehicles.

Some hate groups still use the Iron Cross image in some of their stuff, but they are losing it to the Motorcycle and fashion world. (Hurray for motorcyclists and fashionistas!)

And here we find the irony in the Iron Cross. It is called the Maltese Cross, which it is not. It is sometimes seen, (by the uninformed) as a symbol of evil, which it is not. It is however, in the end a Christian symbol, used often by military organizations in Christian Nations, as a symbol to evoke the idea of a noble Christian ideal. However, people forget the past and use symbols for what ever purpose they desire.

Now that you know more than you ever wished to know about the Formee or Pattee cross, you might ask why did I take all this time to write this. Simply because history is important to me and I want others to understand it correctly. I hate it when historical information gets changed to meet a current trend or politically correct ideal. And because I take the Formee cross as my own personal symbol, mainly for the original meaning, and I want people to know it for what it is, not what the fashion industry wants it to be. Thanks!

Later!

For more information, take a look at http://netpages.free-online.co.uk/gms/sinister.htm
-or-
The following information on crosses was taken from http://www.likeacat.com/index.asp?PageAction=Custom&ID=17 , a jewelery site, oddly enough.

Their information reflected what I have found and was the most concise, so I decided to post it here. They have alot of information on different types of crosses along with images of the actual crosses on their website.

"Wotan's Cross reflects similar symbolism, with the cross and circle as a symbol of cosmic union. The circle also stood for the earth horizon, with the four directions meeting at the center. It was also called the Sun Cross for the sun (cross) embraced by heaven (circle). The often repeated symbolism is that of a diety in the middle of a four-way heaven.

Cross Patee was popular in medieval heraldry. It was a combination of the Christian (Greek) cross and Wotan's. This cross, also known as Cross Formee, was often shown as the insignia of the god Frey.

A similar appearing cross is the Maltese Cross, originallly from the island of Malta, home of one of the world's oldest Goddess temples. This design directs attention to the center, possibly to indicate earth's geographical center, omphalos, and site of the Goddess's chief temple."

A BAD feeling

This is a totally "for what it's worth" entry. I am putting this out only because I feel I will need to refer back to it later. I have a feeling something BAD is going to happen. I have had this feeling since the beginning of the year and it has only gotten stronger. I don't know what, how, who, or why this bad something is going to happen, but I just do. It might be on a personal level, or on a larger scale, but in some way I think it will effect me in some way greatly.

So there, now at least I can say, I told you so... I hope I am wrong.


Later!

Back to the Hunt!!!

Okay, so I have not fulfilled my resolution to get a new motorcycle before spring. Oh well, good things come to those who wait. The bike I had my eye on for the last 8 MONTHS (Honda VTX 1800c) got sold... So I am back to hunting for another bike. So far, from what I can tell, I missed the deal of the year when this bike got sold. It really was under priced. The guy selling it though was a jerk, so I guess that makes up for some of the pain of missing out on it.

I have been furiously trying to save up money so any money borrowed from a financial institution is at a minimum. I have sold alot of things that a year ago I would not have considered. However, now, with a real desire in my sights, some of these other things are just not as important anymore. I think that when I do find a bike at the end of this hunt, I will call it "Sacrifice."

Do I need this bike? No, probably not. Lord knows I can divert my money towards other things like bills and retirement, but who wants to be like the TV commercial where the guy buys siding instead of a Harley. Then again, if I had enough money to buy a Harley, I could get a Honda and siding at the same time!!!

Keeping the eye on the prize...
It will happen. I just don't know when. (hopefully soon)

later...

Deja Vu over and over, or Hey, ya want some big ass speakers?!?!

Many, many years ago when I first moved to the Champaign area, one of my first recollections that I was not in small town Illinois anymore, was when I was driving back from my job and I turned towards my apartment on a street that was pretty much traffic free. However, at this particular time, there was this large white van with two guys in it. Both looked to be college aged guys, maybe a bit older, but your average guys. Anyway, I pull up to the stop sign at the same time they do and they start waving at me and yelling out the window. Nothing agressive or anything like that, but enough to get my attention and pull up to them. Now, I know that I probably was the poster child for the freshed faced rural kid, recently relocated to the urban jungle but I thought that they were trying to tell me I had a flat tire or something like that. I pulled over, asked what was up, and they proceeded to give me the highest pressure sales pitch I had ever experienced up to that time. They wanted to sell me some "really big ass speakers" for my sound system at home. They went on and on about how good they were, how loud they were and how cheap they were. (They would never be cheap enough, because at the time, I could barely pay for food!) Anyway, they acted like I was the only guy left in the world they could sell to, but I held out and we parted ways. This was like twenty years ago. I was a bit rattled by the whole thing. Someone stopping me on the street to buy something? The presentation looked a bit like a the guys were try to fence stolen speakers! Why me? Did I look gullible enough to buy them, or were thye just looking for the typical student who thinks that his coolness is measured in the decible volume his stereo can produce? I don't know but it always stuck with me.

Then it happened again. Probably about 10 years ago. Near campus while I was parking the car near the WILL building. No one else was in the parking lot, and I was walking alone on the sidewalk. Deja vu all over again! It was a big white van with two guys, (again typical college guy look) selling some really big, cool, cheap speakers! Being 10 years older and far more wise to the con artists that inhabit the urban jungle which I had aclimated myself to, (yeah, right!) I was able to refused them yet again! They tried desperately once again to convince me I needed those speakers but I shut them down. I told them I had a meeting inside and had to go. I had foiled their plans for easy money...

Okay, now fast forward 10 more years, to yesterday! I'll be damned if while walking out of my office door to get something from my truck, if another big white van, with two typical looking college guys in it didn't drive out of the alley. One of the guys leans out the window, and yells at me, (once again there is no one else around....) "Hey, Dude!" "You want some really cheap, big ass speakers?"(yes, the same wording as twenty years ago! Couldn't they come up with something new?) "They are right here in the van!"

What the hell???!!! Are they on some demonic mission to seek me out every ten years or so, and see if I have finally broken down and decided I cannot live without these big ass speakers!?!? Or do I still give everyone the impression that I am some college student who thinks having a really cool sound system is important? (Okay, don't answer that!)

It was just really weird. I told them "No." very firmly. However, this time they tried to trip me up. They asked if I wanted a job for a couple of days. I was not fooled. I knew their evil plan. Again, I said "No." Then they asked me if I knew of anyone who needed a job. This one confused me a bit. Had they finally worked up to retirement and were now looking for new drivers for the white van to track me down for the next twenty years? I told them "No." again but with some reluctance.

After all, after twenty years of following me around without a single sale, they probably deserved a chance to try something new....

I definately know that coincidence is real and God has a sense of humor!

Later!

From Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts...being a kid again.

Yesterday eve, my son graduated, or "crossed-over" as you will, into the local Boy Scout Troop from Cub Scouts. I have been the Cub Master or a leader in some sense of our local group now for almost 5 years now. I have spent almost every event, every den meeting, and every campout with him and a group of boys from his den over that time, and have grown to know, love and care about these boys. In many ways, I think of them as my boys and feel I have a vested interest in their development and success in life. Over these years, which in reality is only a small portion of the time they will be on this earth, I hope that all that we have done together will make some sort of difference for them and help them become good people. I especially hope this for my son. I have tried to be the best scout leader I can for them and hope I have succeeded. In many ways, my experience in Cub Scouting and now soon, in Boy Scouting, is as much for me as it is for my son or the other boys.
As a kid, I only participated in Cub Scouts for a short time. The organization was very small, poorly developed and my parents, in all honesty, probably didn't think it was all that important. So I never really did anything in Cub Scouts other than a Derby or two and can't even remember what rank I earned. So now, I am reliving, or better yet, getting another chance to be a Cub Scout as a kid in his 30's. Soon I will get another chance to be a Boy Scout, but this time I get to do it some of my good friends, who just happen to be about 30 years younger than me. I feel some of the same excitement, the same tension, and the same thrill that these boys do when they are doing scout activities. Yeah, I have an advantage of 30 years of life experience to fall back on, but when I am doing these things with them, I honestly feel like I am 10 years old again.
My wife likes to say that I am just one of the kids she has to take care of, and she is probably right. (Without her, I think I would be a rather immature mess.) Maybe that is why I enjoy the scouting activities so much and connect so well with these boys. I am just a big kid and they know it. Yeah, I gotta be the adult sometime, but I like it much better when I get to be the kid along with them.
When I was putting my son's little blue Cub Scout shirt away today, I got a little nostalgic, a little emotional, and maybe a little sad, because in that shirt, that shirt that was way to big to begin with but is now just starting to fit my son properly, there is almost 5 years of experiences, activities, fun, disappointments, acheivements, friendships, and life in it. As I held it, I was over whelmed with the amount of life that went into that shirt. It is merely a shirt, but in it resides a multitude of memories for me and I hope that the same holds true for my son and for the other boys in his den. If not now, maybe someday in the future when he and they find these dusty little shirts in a box of other things, they will remember what they did in those shirts. And hopefully they will remember me too. I hope so. I makes me feel good to think that 20-30 years down the line they might remember me doing things with them and make them smile. Maybe they will even look me up and give me a call.
My son and these other boys are growing up, and I am growing up all over again right along with them. I do hope that as they become young men and adults, I can teach them to remember that while we must all grow older, none of us has to really, ever, truly grow up.

I guess I am not that old....

I may have said before that I have always thought I would make a great soldier. When I turned 34 I realized that it would be impossible for me to ever find out, but wouldn't you know it... the Army went and raised the enlistment age to 39! I could, if I wanted, still enlist! I kind of like knowing that if needed, I would still be of value to the military. Not that I would enlist now.. I just couldn't with the place I am right now in life and with my family, but if things were different, I would not hesitate. I wonder how many 34+ year olds will enlist now that the opportunity has been presented to them again? I t would be interesting to find out if the new age limit will have the desired effect.

Anyway, makes me feel good to know that I am not too old to join the Army, even though I won't. I bet Bruce Willis wishes the age limit was raised to 50!

out of touch? nah.. just jealous they won't let him play

My good gaming buddy Gregg, (who probably single handedly responsible for getting me back into RPG gaming... damn him) sent me this link from (I think) a Jewish internet publication. It talks about how the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) thinks that those soldiers that play D&D are out of touch with reality. What a crock of shit. And this from one of the better military organizations in the world. (at least on a small scale) Gamers who play D&D are no more out of touch with reality, than people who read books, watch sports, or play golf. It is a form of recreation, a form of socializing, and in many ways, maintaining the tradition of oral story telling in a world where 10 second sound bites or banging away on a key board are the norm for people to talk to one another. What is cool are the responses to this so called bit of journalism which are linked to the site. I have included one of the responses from none other than Thor, the god of Thunder, direct from Asgard! (talk about out of touch!) I must take issue with his opinion that D&D is not mainstream though. Anything that generates millions of dollars of revenue is definately not out of the mainstream.


If the IDF is considering D&D, then perhaps playing video games and watching movies should also be included in their criteria for being "detached from reality." Recreation takes many forms. Just because D&D is not mainstream or has a higher level of interactivity and creativity than people are used to engaging in is no reason to discriminate against it.
Thor ,
Asgard
(03.09.05)

Below is the link for the article. I think the article is written by a novice journalist... Very little about what he says about the game is true in how it is played so I put little faith in his information.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles//0,7340,L-3052074,00.html

Like I have stated before... gamers are controlling the world, so how can we be out of touch. Okay let me clarify that... Gamers are running most of the entertainment and technology industry. Wait! Maybe they are out of touch! AUUGH!


Later!

Ramblings in, from, and about a small town....

If there was ever a song that could sum up my life in a very general way, it has to be John Mellencamp's "Small Town." I was reminded of this song when a number of things over the course of a couple of days brought to my mind why I chose to live in a small town.
One day last week, I got home early and went to the grocery store and had my wife's purse sitting beside me in the car. I didn't think to take it of course and she was at the gym, so I left it in the truck. However, like always, I didn't lock the door. It was still there when I got back to the car about 20 minutes later. It was a busy day at the grocery store and any number of people would have walked by the truck and seen it. They would have also seen the car next to me that was running with the doors unlocked and no one in it too. While in the store, it is very enjoyable to have people, some strangers and some friends, say hello and offer to let you go ahead when you have two or three items compared to their cart full.
Also, I like it when my neighbors saythat if I need something, go ahead and get it, because the doors aren't locked. (and vice versa) I like knowing my neighbors, whether good or bad, and feel safer for it.
I went to my hometown to help my dad, and he wanted to go to the local watering hole to get a flu shot. The other person with us, my nephew in law, wanted to get something but the waitress was busy, so we went behind the bar, near the cash register and got it. No problem, just tell them about it when you see them. It was assumed that you are honest and could be trusted.
I took my family shooting and it turned into a full day of what some people might call "redneck" fun, but God as my witness, it was fun nevertheless. It was great watching things blow apart from a well aimed high caliber bullet impact!
What is the most used door in a small community? The back door. It is always unlocked and most homes have a open door policy, as long as you close it when you are done.
I like it when, for no reason at all other than being kind and good neighbors, you get invited over to eat at their home.

Childhood memories from a small town:

-waiting for the school bus to arrive. at the grain elevator with the "off duty" famers.
-a black Labrador dog named "Blackie" who was my constant, steadfast companion. He even knew when to walk up to meet me when the school bus dropped me off.
-wiener roasts for my birthday over a HUGE fire with all my friends and family.
-coming home and often finding friends sitting in the house waiting for you to come home so they could do something with you.
-inventing games because the current version wasn't dangerous enough.
-baseball games that were called not because you had played 9 innings, but because it was too damned dark to see the other players or because someone invoked the secret rule that beaning a player with a ball was as good as tagging them for an out with your glove.
-WWII combat actions re-enacted with some of the same ferocity of the real thing, except only with bb guns.
-bb gun fights that lasted all weekend long!
-D&D games that lasted all weekend long!
-swimming in the Whiskey Creek after my friends and I dammed up the entire creek with rocks and broken tile.
-noticing that when a person died, it was a shock to the entire community, not just a single family.
-I knew the names of everyone in my entire high school, junior high, and some of the grade school.
-camping out at Kaufman's Timber where a bringing a sleeping bag was considered an afterthought.
-climbing to the top of the grain elevator at night and guess what towns you could see from afar and trying to pick out the constellations.
-walking into town after hunting and leaning the guns up on the side of the candy store while you went in for some snacks.
-snow storms that turned the countryside into a barren, frozen wasteland. (it literally looked completely different and strange)
-most of your teachers were pretty cool to hang out with, even in the summer.
-having a drivers license was a technicality.
-knowing that you could not get into trouble, because everyone would know about it within 3 days.


I told you this would be a ramble...

later!

Turning 40 this year...

It wasn't until recently when scheduling for an event in October, (totally unrelated to my birthday) that I realized that I would be celebrating my 40th birthday! I knew it was coming but it really had not dawned on me that it would be a "landmark" birthday. I really don't know how I feel about turning forty, and certainly don't have any plans on launching into a "mid-life crisis." (After all, I don't feel that being 40 is mid-life, especially when you are one who has plans on living well into their 100's... ) I can certainly see how a mid-life crisis is created! Usually it is by people who already have a good life, a great family, a good job, and more than they probably need. However, they feel that they haven't done anything, haven't been discovered yet, or won't be remembered when they are gone. Then they decide to act on past desires that were never realized, make less than intelligent decisions and generally end up getting a bunch of people's undies in a twist until they grow out of the crisis. Maybe it is just that... like a teenager finally grows up and stop acting like a stupid kid, the 40, 50, or even 60 year old goes through another sort of growing period when they realize that they do have it pretty good and should only build on what they have, or they realize that they really haven't done anything worth while and it is time they get started doing something about it.

I for one, like where I am at in life. I hope to improve my financial situation so I can be more relaxed about the future, but other than having not become famous for some odd reason, I am pretty happy. Couldn't ask for a better family and I think my home is pretty sharp! I happen to like big black trucks, so I don't need a red sports car, and I have a ton of friends that I really enjoy spending time with. So life is pretty good. I think I will skip a mid-life crisis and use save my energy for when something really important comes up. I am going to get a new motorcycle before I turn the big 4-0! So maybe that can be my red sports car!

Later!

Gamers getting long in the tooth?

Just read today that the average age for a gamer, be it video, RPG, or traditiona, is 29 and that it might actually be increasing. I was actually quite surprised by this. I always thought the average gamer age was like around 16-20. You know, that age group that really is the freeest of us all. They are adults but don't yet have all the time comsuming responsibilities of those older than them, so instead of working, they game. Well I was wrong! Apparently those of us out there making a daily wage, worrying about kids, the bills, and the home are the big gamers! So that is why it is so hard to get good help now adays! Everyone is stuck in front of their XBOX! Geez! Get a life and go do something responsible and get away from the game! And while you are out working, do you mind if I pick up the game where you left off?!?!

Later!